One more week until my last year in college.  I can't believe it's been four years since I first walked on campus as a student.  It went by so fast, almost too fast.  The major thing that worries me is this may not be my last year.  According to my credits, I'm still considered a junior.  Let me just say that last year was not the best year.  There were too many worries, too much stress, and I completely froze on two classes.  Now, I have to take a much bigger load this year in order to get my classes and credits up and accurate, which I'm hoping goes well.  I know the last year in college is supposed to be stressful and nerve-wracking, but I was hoping all of that could be avoided.  I've been completely dreading for this year to begin.  I'm very scared I won't make it.  I don't really have a plan after I graduate, except go on my cross culture trip to Europe.  On that note, I've been praying very hard that something will work out and I'll have enough money to go.  I've been leaving everything up to God and let Him make a way in His timing, but I've also been scared that His way won't be the way I'm hoping for or praying for.  Now, who doesn't think that?  I've also been praying that God will give me the strength and the courage to let go and let Him control my future. 

This summer has been the most emotional summer I've ever had.  I've never cried this much whenever I was feeling bad about myself or completely scared of what's around the corner.  God must really be testing my trust and faith in Him.    

One week of school left!  What a great time to write about homework!    I'm reading a book for my philosophy class called "Emergent Theology for Emerging Churches" by Ray Anderson, and I came across a point he makes saying and I quote,

"I love the sinner, but I hate the sin."  I wonder if people who say that have any idea how destructive and downright ungracious that concept is!  Whatever my sins and failures may be, that is who I am!  You cannot love me without accepting the whole of me, painful and threatening it may be.  And when you say that you hate my sin, I find it difficult to believe you really love me!

I had a hard time wrapping my mind around with what he's saying or implying.  Then I felt a little steamed over the fact that he accused those who love people but hate the action.  For instance, someone who is homosexual.  I love the person, but I don't like what they're doing.  Wasn't Jesus the same way?  He loves us unconditionally, but he hates our actions that are sinful.  I wonder if Anderson didn't think that one very through.  Or maybe there's a whole new concept to loving people that I haven't figured out or discovered yet.  However, this thinking contradicts itself.  Then again, how can you unintentionally hate someone?  If hate is the same thing as murdering  someone, can that be unintentional?  Then that may legally be called homicide right?  Is there a way to accept someone's sin but still dislike it?  You can't accept sin.  The way Anderson says, "Whatever my sins and failures may be, that is who I am!", it's like saying, hey I'm a sinner and a failure!  Sure, everyone's a sinner, but I don't nesscarliy think everyone's a failure.  Even though we have failed...are we failures?  Are we losers?  Maybe we fail to be considerate or kind to another person even just for a moment, and though it may not seem like a big deal to us, it is a big deal to God.  I wonder if there's a clear answer to all this.  Right now, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with this.  I'm just arguing with myself.  Hopefully, I'll have a better understanding to this soon.